Practical (Juice) Jokes

Oh vegetable juice, how I’ve missed thee! It’s been two days!

Thanks to Heather I’ve been adding beets to my Green Lemonade lately, which turns the juice beet red (literally) and is now more appropriately called Magenta Juice.

Brendan Brazier recommends in Thrive adding beet greens to your salads. Well if it’s good in a salad then it’s gotta be just as good in juice!

Beet Greens

Instead of just composting these beet greens like usual, today they were added to the mix. Into the juicer went beet greens, the beet at the end said greens, romaine, lemon, ginger and cucumber. I am out of apples so I threw in a couple of carrots for good measure.

Sometimes Zak will come home from work at the end of the day and will find evidence that I made green juice while he was gone, but there’s no juice for him to be found. Maybe he sees the juicer parts drying in the dish rack, the pulp in the compost bucket, or the stupid green juice grin on my face that I can’t wipe off for the life of me.

And my answer is always one of the same:

Oh, you wanted some?
It’s best to drink it when it’s FRESH!
OK, yeah, I drank it.

He’s swimming this morning and was therefore not here when I made juice.

Angel on my shoulder: Leave some for Zak. LEAVE SOME FOR ZAK.
Devil on other shoulder: Hide the evidence! HIDE THE EVIDENCE!

Alrighty, alright. He does go to work so I can buy the vegetables, I suppose I can leave him a little.

Big Juice, Little Juice

Hey man, I left you some! What’s the problem?!

From Above

So these little juice shenanigans were really just meant for a smart ass post this morning but I decided to share the juice joke love with Zak too. I left his little juice in plain site in the fridge for when he gets home and asks if I made juice for him. “ummm yeah, there’s a little left in the fridge for you…”

Fridge Shot

If you look carefully though, behind that white crate of nuts is his actual juice.

Sneaky Juice

Notice that I put a lid on that jar? Yeah, it would be my beet juice luck that he either:

A. turns into the Incredible Hulk when sees his little juice and sends that jar of red dye flying when he picks up the refrigerator and throws it.

OR more likely:

B. doesn’t even see the little thing of juice, pushes the nut crate back when moving things around in the fridge to find the juice I said I left for him, knocks the glass over and douses the back of the refrigerator in beet juice. That lid is my karmic insurance policy.

Moving on.

When I left you on Friday, fruit cereal and I were just good friends. Now, we are lovers.

Fruit Cereal Lover

Seriously. I love. this. stuff. There are so many different ways you can make it.  This is only the tip of the fruit cereal ice burg. I ate this for breakfast all weekend. For this morning’s bowl I diced up a banana and a white peach. I tossed in a couple of raisins that I soaked in warm water this morning to soften up (I’m out of prunes!), coated the whole fruit mess in flax and shredded coconut. Topped with pumpkin seeds, sliced almonds and unsweetened vanilla hemp milk.  Raw, vegan, gluten free, delicious.

Now I’m just waiting for Zak to get home so I can go for a bike ride on this fine Labor Day morning, but not before I pretend nothing is out of the ordinary with a tiny glass of juice.

Hi, my name is Alison and I’m a fruit cereal lover and a serial jokester.


8 Responses

  1. I bet you Zak will love the shot of juice! psh you saved him some right? hahaha love it!

    Hope you have a good bike ride today Alison! 🙂

  2. Hope your husband likes his juice!
    Love that fruit cereal idea! Great, refreshing way to start the day!

  3. i love you.

    i laughed out loud at zak’s juice. you are my health, humor + blog writing idol. no joke.

  4. Holy moses – that cereal looks amazing!! I am going to have to copy you soon.

    And I second fall TV cheers. I cannot wait!

    I do get the auras before the migraine. I’m thinking it’s mostly due to eye strain while working at the computer all day, as well as using my Macbook at home – which is fabulous, but very teeny for viewing. I’ll definitely talk to my nutritionist too, about the dairy part. So far I haven’t had any dairy yet this morning and I’m feeling headache free. Knock on wood…as I go spend five hours on the computer. blah!

    Loveeee the juice. I made carrot/apple/ginger juice on Saturday and oh my heavens. Obsessed!!

    Thank god you’re back. My daily routine was completely messed up with you gone 🙂

  5. […] This post was Twitted by RawAndFit […]

  6. LOVE IT!
    I would have a lot more fun things to say (cuz I’m thinkin’ it) but JJ is havin a total melt down in his crib right now and I can’t think….

    I love Zak’s SIP o JUICE!

    you’re a crack up!

  7. Everyone needs a cereal jokester in their life!

  8. mama alison— just another breakfast i must try soon!! and by soon i mean wednesday morning’s breakfast 😉

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