One Armed Carrot Jokes

Who doesn’t want a little AliSUN in their day?

AliSUN

Anyone who doesn’t read this blog, apparently.

I ran to the soothing sounds of having New Moon read to me. Finally someone who reads TO ME!

New Moon - Visitor

I set out to run 5 miles and was back in about 40 minutes. I was ready to be done running but not ready to head back inside yet so I hopped on my bike for a 20 minute cool down ride and took advantage of the opportunity for a slightly longer work out today.

Home in time to be joined by a one armed carrot for lunch.

One Armed Carrot

What do you call an elephant with a carrot stuffed in each ear?

Anything you want, he can’t hear you!

I’m sorry. I googled one armed carrot jokes but I got nothing.

Google Carrot Jokes

At least the next person who googles “One Armed Carrot Jokes” should wind up here. Too bad I’ve got nothing. FOOLED YOU!

(If you are reading this post because you googled one armed carrot jokes, please report back with any good one armed carrot jokes you come up with so I’ve got one for next time.)

Moving on.

After listening to the sound of a one armed carrot clapping I enjoyed a giant salad and sound of Jillan yelling.

Jillian

Oh Jillian how I’ve missed you!

The phone rang tonight during bathtime and it was Zachary Green Juice Lover calling to report his motorcycle was out of juice and he needed to be rescued. I pulled my two prunes out of the tub and off we went on a rescue mission.

Rescue

Can you make out Zak in that pic? Are you making out with my husband?? *slap slap slap*

Words from the Weeds on the car ride to save dad?

Ava: Look! A wishing star! I wish I was a princess who never burped or farted! Isn’t that a good wish, mom?

Why yes, that is a good wish. I can’t say I haven’t wished that one myself. For both of us.

After rescuing the man I rescued the leftovers. Can we say bean soup and hummus? I think I just did.

Post Rescue Meal

Do you like that bite missing from the hummus on Ezekiel toast? Are you admiring how perfect my bite is? Two years of orthodontia baby! All leading up to this moment. You can thank my mom and dad in the comments for that.

It’s late and I’m feeling punchy (in case you couldn’t tell) from googling one armed carrot jokes and rescuing men and leftovers and wishing I was burpless fart free princess. I’m wishing that for you tonight too. You’re welcome.

25 Responses

  1. you are hilarious!! and I think that salsa on hummus is probably one of the best combinations ever!!

  2. HAHAHAHAHA THAT IS THE BEST KID COMMENT I HAVE HEARD IN A LOOOOONNNNNGGG TIME. i laughed out loud.

    have a good weekend mama!

  3. Thanks mom and dad! :) hehe

    Such a nice wife goin to rescue the hubby, does he get green juice in the morning!? Maybe just a little. Jillian really knows how to whip people into shape, i’m sorta scared for the rest of the season..

    see ya tomorrow girl! :)

    http://saladdiva.wordpress.com

  4. Okay, so Ava’s wish just made me spout water through my nose…now isn’t that princess-like! Note to self: Do not read Alison’s blog while drinking or eating!

  5. I still can’t stop laughing, my husband thinks I weird right now!
    Love your daughter, can I babysit for a day, she would brighten my days?

  6. Tell your little one that isn’t just a good wish! That is a GREAT WISH! :) And a funny one too, though she probably didn’t mean for it to be.

    -maria

  7. a big SHOUT OUT to Mom n Dad for beautiful teeth!
    woo hoo.

    fartless princess are well worth wishing for!
    yeah Ava.

    I’ll see if my Teen can come up with any one armed carrot jokes…he’s pretty good at silliness like that!

  8. You are a riot. I just passed the laptop over to Chris and said you have to read this. He might think I’m crazy. He definitely thinks you are. Thanks for making my night.

  9. Nice jokes mama :) At least you are honest on your blog, that’s more than I can say for some bloggers who are a bit sugar coatey. Burpless, fartless princess…LOL

  10. You make me smile (and laugh in the good way) lady …

    Happy Weekend!!!

  11. Haha, thanks for wishing I was a burp fart free princess for me! I appreciate that. I always get a good laugh reading your blog. I am going to try my darndest to get a good one-armed carrot joke for ya!

  12. That carrot is awe inspiring….nature certainly has a sense of humor.

    For so long I’ve forgotten to wish upon a star and i’ll add Ava’s suggestion to mine next time I remember to wish.

    Your posts are a riot!

  13. Ava’s wish is hysterical! Where does she come up with this stuff? Don’t you wonder what she sit and thinks about?

    Next time I see a carrot clapping especially with one arm, I’ll let you know. (haha)

  14. That is the best wish ever!! I hope it comes true for her! lol

    I didn’t know you were a motorcycle mama!!! Do you ever ride with him?! I love motorcycles!! My ex has one and we used to go everywhere on it. I have my own helmet and jacket too! hahaha

  15. I just found your blog and this entry made me laugh! I love the silly jokes, made me laugh even before my morning cup of coffee :)

  16. Your girls are so cute. Kids say the funniest things don’t they?

    Hummus and salsa, I will probably be eating that for a meal very very soon.

  17. Oh my god, that child is gold. Pure freakin’ gold!!

    I had no idea Zak had a motorcycle. This just bumped your family up on the coolness factor even more. For the past year or so I’ve wanted two things – a dog, and a motorcycle. My ultimate car fantasy is a ’69 GTO. Throw in a six pack of Bud heavy and I think I might actually be a dude.

    Speaking of Weeds, have you ever seen the show with the same name, that’s on Showtime? It’s hilarious and I think you’d find it amusing.

  18. You use the word punchy too!! Amazing. Such a good adjective.
    Your bite is perfect. I am impressed.

    Ava is hilarious!! I can only hope when I have children they come out with crackers like that…ridiculous!

  19. Lol! Kids are too cute. I could wish all I wanted that I didn’t have gas in any form, but I can tell you that’ll never happen. My boyfriend calls me his princess so at least I have one thing going for me! :-P

  20. We have to talk New Moon ASAP! Can I come up to NY and babysit the kiddos for a day? They are hilarious. I see where they get it from ;)

  21. i can’t believe there are no one armed carrot jokes . what a horrible world we live in.

  22. In the first photo of “One Armed Carrot Jokes” I think it’s cute how the top flames of the sun are kinda a hat for you!

  23. I’m always up for a little ALI-SUN in my day! :D

  24. Guess what I just did… I googled one armed carrot jokes and your post was number one on the list!!!
    -A

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